Saturday, March 26, 2011

My life as a Bogangsta

Somewhere between the topless mechanic students in the carpark, and my new classroom full of ex-builders, I realised that I wasn't the same as all the other Tech students. Partly because I was a female, but more than that... I was so... clean.



And so not bogan or gangsta. I was trapped inside this preppy body. It failed to look dirty or scruffy even when I needed it to. And I did need it to.

Have you ever felt like everybody can tell you're an ex-law-firm employee who is not 18 anymore and has a degree from university, and that you wish you were just wearing body-art instead of a cute clean sailor tshirt and immaculately perfect jeans?

No?

But after a short panic on the first day, I began to see the light. No-one could make me feel unprofessional for trying to wear jandals in the office again. Those days were over. I could be....



Boom.

Aside from having just coined possibly the world's coolest word from Bogan + Gangsta, I had also done something else: reminded myself of my deep love for everything cheap, grungey, and badass. I refined the Bogangsta Style over the next few days until I felt pretty comfy with it. Here are some tips for pulling off this look:

1. Whatever you do, don't mention to your friends that your mum irons your t-shirts. That is, if you have any friends yet. If not then you should probably ask her to stop ironing your t-shirts...



2. Try to exude 'Badittude' at all times. For a female, the easiest way is through excessive use of the "smokey eye" makeup look.



3. Bedhead is the only hairstyle you have ever heard of. Embrace it.



4. Now that you have worked hard to get the Bogangsta image, DO NOT spoil it by doing any of THESE:

- Talking to people whose hat is bigger than you are. It's just common knowledge on campus that the size of someone's hat it directly proportional to how cool they are.



- Making funny jokes around people who are holding their head and saying "omg I'm never doing that again" on a Thursday or Monday morning. You may regret it.



- Making friends with the opposite sex, in their toilets



If you stick to these tips, then you too can enter the mega-cool world of Bogangsta. Or maybe you can't. Maybe its my private world and I don't want to share it with you. Maybe you're not cool enough, or maybe you have a large hat.

I forget what the point of this was. Probably procrastination.

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