Friday, April 8, 2011

3 Reasons for Having a Pillow Fight

Last Sunday was International Pillow Fight Day. I totally missed my pillow-smacking chances by a couple of hours, but then it made me wonder, would I really have wanted to hit someone with a pillow?

Or would it just have resulted in a really awkard moment where the other person felt it was inappropriate to hit me back, and pretended to laugh instead....

This pillow business is more complicated than the media would have us think... 3 reasons I can think of for having a pillow fight:

1) You want blood.

This typically occurs within households and can be an efficient method of dispute resolution amongst siblings.

2) For purposes of flirting.

You're 12, and on school camp. The teachers split you into boys' room and girls' rooms. Sneaking out into the hallway to intrude on the boys/girls' quarters is pretty much the most exciting and rebellious thing you can think of.
It not only provides a great avenue for physical contact; it is also it is an ice-breaker for that first mixed-gender conversation. Ah true love.

3) Girl's Nights

I love me a good girl's night! You what I'm talkin bout - semi-naked women, flying feathers, and lots of jumping on the hostess's king-size bed; punctuated by shrieks of "Slumber parteeeeee!"..... right???!

Wait a minute..... no.... no that's not right at all.......

For a whole tonne of reasons.

1) Who lets their friends destroy their inner-sprung mattress, whilst confronting them with semi-nudity and ruining their otherwise plump feather pillows? This is innapropriate and awkward, both at the same time.

2) Who even has feather pillows?

3) Girls have a tendency to be fiercly competitive with each other. It's this very trait that warrants the terms "bitchy" and "catty". In other words, girls know, that girls are mean. (Most boys have not yet noticed.)
Does any girl really want to give her fellow cats an opporunity to tap into this surpressed aggression?

4) The difference between reality and the way media has portrayed pillow fights. You could end up feeling a little disappointed.

Oh, I've totally ruined pretty much every fantasy in the male mind.

I hear ya buddy: "If girls don't have naked pillow fights on their Girl's Night, then what do they do??? :("

Umm. Don't worry. Still stuff that is totally sexy...

(getting garlic breath, ordering pizza, wearing horrible frumpy clothes and belching the alphabet. Ammmazing.)

1 comment:

  1. My dreams have been shattered by that last one. I think you are trying to throw us guys off the scent.